Trinfan's Buffy Movie Crossover Drabbles
by trinfaneb
Summary: Mostly 100 word drabbles with True Lies, Bubba Ho-Tep, Conan, Girls Gone Wild, Hellboy, Millennium, Alien 3, Last of the Mohicans, Rocky 2, Signs, This is Spinal Tap, Terminator 2 & 3, The Warriors, City Of God, Dodgeball, Hannibal, and Heavy Metal.
1. True Lies

True Heritage

Summary: 100 word Buffy-Angel True Lies movie Crossover Drabble. Faith learns who her true family is.

"How 's Faith doing?" Angel asked in an anxious tone of voice as Willow finally came out of the Slayer's bedroom.

"Pretty well considering she and I just spent three hours telepathically recovering repressed memories of her parents being killed by terrorists when she was barely fourteen and then herself undergoing months of brainwashing before being left with an extremely abusive Boston family."

"That's rough," Angel said. "Who were her parents?"

"Omega Sector agents Harry and Helen Trasker."

In the bedroom Faith wept softly as she said to herself, "I remember, daddy. I'm Dana and you and mommy were true champions."


	2. Bubba HoTep

He's Left the Building Now

Summary: 100 word Buffy-Bubba Ho-Tep movie Crossover Drabble--The Slayers get some weird news.

&&&&Contains spoilers for "Bubba-Ho-Tep"&&&&

Excerpts from Post-Sunnydale Slayer After-Action Report #38

"I've got good news, bad news, and weird news," said Vi.

"What the hay, give me the bad news first," said Xander from the other end of the mystically scrambled telephone connection.

"Well the mummy had directly or indirectly murdered at least five people by the time me and the trainee Slayer and Watcher got here. The good news is that two old guys killed the mummy and one of them lived long enough to tell us the story so we could tidy things up. The weird news is that apparently Elvis didn't really die in 1977 like we thought."


	3. ConanDefending Your Life

The Rubber Band Effect

Summary: 100 word BtVS "Conan the Barbarian", "Defending Your Life" movie Drabble

The Shirely Maclaine Past Lives Pavilion--Heaven, 2080

Buffy began to squirm in her seat as she watched the holovid. Two men were fighting in an ancient burial ground. The heavily-muscled one on the ground was about to get sliced in two by the tall, bearded one's axe. Then in a blinding burst of sunlight a blonde warrior woman appeared and blocked the killing stroke.

"Do you want to live forever?" she said to warrior on the ground.

"Well its good to know the whole 'coming back from the dead' thing wasn't exactly a new development for me," Buffy thought.


	4. The Three Musketeers

Apt Pupil

Summary: 100 word BtVS Four Musketeers (1970s movie) crossover Drabble -- Darla reflects

Darla felt a moment of true sadness as she looked at the lifeless body of Milady de Winter. She also felt pride for her former apprentice and fellow harlot. Milady had done a masterful job of corrupting her righteous jailer into assassinating the Duke of Buckingham. She had also choked the life out of the Champion D'Artagnan's lover Constance.

"Pity the final battle took place during the day for I might have aided her," thought Darla. "Alas I cannot linger here because the Master is summoning me to La Rochelle so we can incite more deviltry. Milady would undoubtably understand."


	5. Girls Gone Wild

Faith Gone Wild

Summary: 100 word Buffy-Girls Gone Wild Crossover Drabble

Winter 2004

The prosecutor pointed to a poster-sized picture of a New Orleans Mardi Gras crowd. A black-haired woman with a cigarette in her mouth and stack of beads around her neck was pulling up her shirt. The two naughty bits were blotted out.

"This young lady was a murderer and reportedly died in the Sunnydale Sinkhole. But what you have to consider is that she was underage when this scene was videotaped and subsequently used on television commercials without permission."

In Cleveland, Xander Harris watched his pirated "Girls Gone Wild Seized Video" and did a spell of his own.

&&&&

In the "Alien Apocalypse" fic I'm currently writing, I establish that Faith visited New Orleans before she faced Kakistos and came to Sunnydale. I got to thinking what she might have done in Nawleans and the image of Faith in a Mardi Gras crowd immediately sprung to mind. Then I remembered the recent controversy about an underage girl in the "Girls Gone Wild" videos. I realize that according to the Buffy episode timeline, Faith probably wouldn't have been in N.O. at Mardi Gras time, but I still think it's a fitting image.


	6. Hellboy

Secret Admirer

Summary: 100 word Buffy-Hellboy Crossover Drabble-takes place immediately after the end of "Go Fish."

The coast off Sunnydale, May 1998

"Abe Sapian has confirmed that we've captured the last of the fish creatures from the swim team," said Agent Clay.

"We should be able to leave shortly and head back to New Jersey," said Professor Broom.

"Too bad we can't stay longer," said Hellboy, relighting his cigar. "That blonde was pretty cute, even if we did have to stay out of sight and not make contact."

"H.B. you ever hear the term jailbait?" asked Liz Sherman.

"Yeah, but this being the Hellmouth and all, I figure we'll eventually have to come back." said Hellboy.


	7. Millennium

In the Nick of Time

Summary: 100 word Buffy-Millenium movie Crossover Drabble. Someone gets a second chance.

"What's the current operation?" asked temporal operative Louise Baltimore as she reported for her shift.

"A one person snatch," said her boss Coventry.

"When and Where?" Louise asked as she flicked her smoke away and watched it be disintegrated by a laser beam.

"2003, place called Sunnydale, California. We have a two minute window between the last sighting and when the town collapses into the earth. Subject is dead by her current medical standards, but we can revive her after she is retrieved."

"Who got her and what's she called?" Louise asked.

"The cursed Turok-Han killed her. She's named Anya."


	8. Alien 3The Last of the Mohicans

The Nestea Plunge

Summary: 100 word BtVS Aliens 3, Last of the Mohicans, movie crossover Drabble -- kind of loopy

Heaven, May 2001

Buffy gradually became aware of a group of women ahead of her on the light bathed path.

"Hey guys, I'm Buffy Summers and I died saving my sister."

"I am Alice Munro and I killed myself after my seeing my one true love slain," said a young woman.

"I'm Ellen Ripley-I died fighting an alien on a prison planet."

"My name is Carrie Chute and I died during an accident on the set of an iced tea commercial," said an attractive woman about Buffy's age.

"Wow it looks like we have hardly anything in common," said Buffy.


	9. Rocky 2

Gonna Fly Now

Summary: 100 word Buffy-Rocky 2 Crossover Drabble. Nikki Woods makes a new friend.

"So vampires are really real?"

"For the fifth time Rocky-absolutely," Nikki said.

"That's hard to believe even though I was cracking more ribs than I do in the meat locker and it didn't stop them."

"Well anyway thank's for the help-and thanks for breaking training to have this drink with me before I head back to New York."

"Yo, Adrian and Paulie are never gonna believe this. You gotta bring your kid to visit when you come back for the Apollo Creed rematch."

"If I'm able, I'll come back to Philly," Nikki said with a sad look in her eyes.


	10. Signs

The Tools to Fight

Summary: 100 word Buffy-Signs movie Crossover Drabble--Spoilers for Signs

"Ok," said Spike as he kicked a body away from the door of his crypt. "The grey ponces didn't count on me not needing to breathe."

"Yeah, and they surely didn't count on me throwing holy water on them just on general principals," said Dawn.

"Gotta watch where you spray that stuff, Nibblet, it stings," said Spike, pointing to a black spot on his cheek.

"Sorry," said Dawn. "We need to tell Buffy and the others."

"We'll do that straight away, but what I want to know is when in the bleedin' hell did Sunnydale get surrounded by corn fields?"


	11. This is Spinal Tap

Their Biggest Fan

Summary: 100 word BtVS This is Spinal Tap movie crossover Drabble

"The only thing I hate worse than college towns are vampire college towns," thought Nigel, digging into his guitar solo on the song Stonehenge. A pendent flapped against his chest as he moved to the music. "I wish we could have afforded to bring the dwarves." He was so bummed out that the amplifier sitting on the stage of the Bronze was only set to 10.

In a darkened corner of the club, a red-faced figure swayed ecstatically with the music. Suddenly the band's drummer burst into flame. "What can I do?" thought Sweet. "They make me so feel so giddy."


	12. This is Spinal Tap

Spike's Dream

Summary: 100 word BtVS This is Spinal Tap Drabble--What was Spike dreaming about when he said, "I'm drowning in footwear!" in "Chosen?"

Spike dreamed of the night he had shared a beer with the lead singer of Spinal Tap after their earlier fire-shortened show at the Bronze.

"So your named after the patron saint of quality footwear?"

"Yes indeed," replied David St. Hubbins.

"That's got to be the bloody stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"Well Saint Hubbins has a way of making non-believers change their views," David said with a serene look on his face.

As he was sleeping in his crypt the next morning Spike was awoken by a sudden and seemingly endless deluge of well-made sneakers, loafers, and high heels.


	13. Terminator 2 & 3

Promises We Make to Ourselves

Summary: 100 word Buffy-Terminator 2 and 3 Crossover Drabble--Buffy deals with her first crush

Ten year old Buffy Summers sat on a beanbag with her hands on her jaw and her elbows on her knees. She was in Mike Kripke's basement-THE make-out basement--and she was moping. She was moping because the object of her affection had landed his bottle three times on another girl and was spending his "seven minutes of heaven" in the laundry closet with little-miss-perfect Kate Brewster. Spin the bottle was such a stupid game and she was starting to think John Connor wasn't worth the fuss. She promised herself she wouldn't go after the dangerous types in the future.


	14. The Warriors

A Free Pass

Summary: 100 word Buffy-The Warriors movie Crossover Drabble. The aftermath of Spike's second Slayer kill.

The Warriors waited impatiently for the subway train to arrive. When it did, a bleached-blond dude wearing a black leather jacket stepped out.

"Let's take him so he can't rat our location to the other 1,000 gangs that're after us," whispered Ajax.

"No, my gut tells me we leave this one alone," said Swan.

The blond looked back and said, "Tonight you get a pass because I've already had my fun. But next time you get to see how well you do against my gang of one."

Riding the train towards Coney Island, they stood in silence around the fallen Slayer.

&&&&

Reviews received before these drabbles were consolidated

True Heritage

ReviewerDateChapterType

markmark2612004-07-021Signed

Cool crossover, with one of those neat ideas that seems obvious in retrospect. Really liked it.

Chapter: He's Left The Building Now

Review By: housesReview Date: 2004-06-29Rating: N/A

I've been toying with an idea of crossing these two, mostly because I adore Bubby Ho Tep, and it's nice to see someone else take up the challenge. Nice little drabble.

Comments from author:

Thanks. For some reason the movie left me a bit cold after the first time I watched it, but I really warmed up to it after listening to Bruce Campbell and Don Coscarelli on the DVD commentary. I'm a big fan of both of them and you can tell they put alot of heart into Bubba Ho-Tep. I've got an idea for a Buffy-Phantasm story, but a couple more pieces need to click in my mind before I can start it. Sebastian Haff aka Elvis Presley will also be making a camero in the "Andrew's Big Race" story I'll be publishing soon. There's a little teaser at the end of the Bubba credits which says: "Elvis returns in Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She-Vampires starring Sebastian Haff". Hopefully someone will write that someday.

Chapter: He's Left The Building Now

Review By: CPTSkipReview Date: 2004-06-29Rating: N/A

Lol! Nice job, I loved this drabble.

Chapter: The Nestea Plunge (Add Comment)

Review By: MarcusRowlandReview Date: 2004-05-20Rating: N/A

I'm obviously missing something here, because I don't really know what the characters have in common either.

Comments from author:

It just occured to me that the "Nestea Plunge" commericals might not have aired outside the US. Basically they show one or more people making a long fall into a giant pool of iced tea. Kind of like what happens to Ripley at the end of Alien 3 (without the chestbuster of course).

Chapter: The Tools to Fight (Add Comment)

Review By: CutiepieReview Date: 2004-05-28Rating: N/A

Haaaa!!! I didn't so much like that movie, but I did enjoy your take on it. =] Thanks!

Reviews For: The Tools to Fight

ReviewerDateChapterType

JA Baker2004-05-291Signed

Falls over laughing I'm sorry… starts laughing again god that was funny…

Reviews For: Their biggest fan

ReviewerDateChapterType

markmark2612004-06-011Signed

Really excellent, not to mention laugh out loud funny, little story. Great idea for a crossover.

Chapter: Spike's Dream

Review By: CountessMarstersReview Date: 2004-05-21Rating: N/A

hilarious... aaah spinal tap.

Chapter: Spike's Dream

Review By: CPTSkipReview Date: 2004-05-20Rating: N/A

Now this story was just too freaking weird! But I liked it because it made me laugh.

Reviews For: A Free Pass

ReviewerDateChapterType

Majin Gojira2004-07-141 out an Play-yay...

That is a truely inspired idea for a mix. the Drabble format prevents it from degrading into suckiness, but like most drabbles, it assumes one is familiar with both series...

Thank god for "I Love the 70s"

trinfaneb2004-06-301Signed

I loved "The Warriors" too when I was growing up (much better than the original book which is depressing as hell). Haven't seen the movie in about ten years though. I think there's some more potential for a story here, just need to think up a few plot ideas.

Kat Hawkins2004-06-301Signed

nice. never seen this crossover before. this was my dad's favorite movie when he was a kid. is there more, or is that it? if that's it, is there going to be another one?


	15. City Of God

City Of Slayers

Summary: Willow and Kennedy meet a new ally in their quest to find a Slayer in Rio. 100 word Buffy crossover drabble with the movie "City of God."

Willow and Kennedy walked into the photography department of the Rio newspaper. They were looking for a Slayer hidden away somewhere near the "City of God" favela. The slums were dangerous and they were seeking a guide.

"We're Kennedy and Willow-we were told you would be expecting us," Kennedy said in her freshly learned Portugese.

A black man in his late forties looked up from the contact sheet he was proofing and said "If you are looking for a guide to the favelas, then I can help. My name is Wilson Rodrigues, although I used to be known as Rocket."


	16. DodgeballSeinfeld

The Puffy Shirt

Summary: Xander gets a particular puffy shirt and dresses as a pirate for Halloween and meets another, very odd, pirate. 100 word drabble crossover with the movie "Dodgeball" and the "Seinfeld" tv series.

Xander wore his white puffy shirt to the Wolfram & Hart Halloween party. Andrew had picked up the one-of-a-kind garment in a Manhattan consignment shop and just knew it would complete Xander's pirate costume. Xander introduced himself to another person also wearing a puffy shift. This redheaded man wore a bandana on his head and had a dagger tucked into his belt.

"Aye matey, pleased to meet ya, I be Steve."

"Staying in character, good-outstanding costume," Xander said.

"Costume, what ye be going on about?" Steve said.

"You know Halloween, dress up?"

"Arr, I didn't dress up for this here shindig."

&&&&

In case you haven't seen the "Dodgeball" movie, it features Alan Tudyk (Wash on "Firefly") as Steve the Pirate. He dresses and acts like a pirate all the time. Xander's puffy shirt comes from the "Seinfeld" tv show episode called "The Puffy Shirt."


	17. 1999 Movie

All This Potential

Summary: Xander gets fed up with his role in the Scoobies and tries something new. 100 word Buffy crossover drabble with a 1999 movie. Takes place after "Buffy vs Dracula."

Xander was fed up. He didn't like being the weak one, the one who ended up eating bugs and getting saved by the girl. He stopped hanging with the Scoobies. After talking with one of his construction crew co-workers, he tried something new.

The meeting took place in the cellar of Willies. Owen, Buffy's date who had almost gotten killed in a mortuary several years before, seemed to be the leader of the group of men. It was said to have started back east.

Owen said, "The first rule of Fight Club is - you do not talk about Fight Club."


	18. Hannibal

Not in a Thousand Years... That's my Girl

Summary: 100 word Buffy crossover drabble with the movie "Hannibal." Mr. Lecter gets an exciting new job opportunity. Takes place during "The Freshman."

D'Hoffryn had told him to stay clear of the Slayer. But she reminded him so much of dear Clarice even though she wasn't the FBI agent's academic equal. He was stymied by his new job rules until he felt the young brunette who had sat next to Ms. Summers in the large classroom make a wish. Something about being thrown to the wolves. Ah yes, it was quite an acceptable way to punish the pompous pop culture professor Riegert for the tirade he'd launched against Buffy. His new position would allow him an eternity to cull the free range rude.


	19. Heavy Metal

Chosen Again

Summary: 100 word Buffy crossover drabble with the 1981 "Heavy Metal" movie. Buffy is the Chosen One-Again.

Buffy felt chilly as she rode her pterodactyl bird-thingy over the weird landscape. Whoever designed her skimpy black leather costume with the red thigh-high boots and arm-guard was obviously more into the S than the M. And what was up with her blue hair? All she knew is that she had to fulfill "The Pact" like Taarna the previous Tarackian had done. Just another day in the lives of the Chosen. This oddly soothing piece of music was running through her head, but how was she supposed to find the big bad if she couldn't speak to ask for directions?


End file.
